Cobwebs

Reluctant to sweep them away
The cobwebs build in corners
What if there’s a spider there
Holding her breath
Waiting to feel a vibration
Back along the threads
Even though she knows
He’s far away down many
Interconnecting lines of silk

I’ll let them stay
Encouraging the spider romance
Hoping they haven’t lost their appetite
For the damn flies

But if they get together
And have lots of spider babies
I might freak out
And suck them all up
Down the vacuum cleaner pipe

Flying

Throwing myself off a precipice
Not to drown in darkness
But to fly into the sun
Standing at the edge looking
Up instead of down
Grinning defiantly

Leaping into the unknown sky
Trailing rainbows
And sunbeams
Rising up into the air
Lifted by warm currents
Stretching out my body

Exhilarated and free
Laughing wildly as my hair whips my face
Shouting into the wind

Waves

Waves crashing over me,
Waves of sadness,
Waves of frustration,
Waves of hopelessness.

In between, the relief of feeling
Normal.

As the ocean sucks back its spent waves
I’m ready for the next one.
Braced for it to smash into me.
I think I know what’s coming,
But it surprises me with its strength
And I’m staggering back,
Struggling to stand against the onslaught.

I catch my breath, trying to find
Balance.

Waves crashing over me,
Waves of loneliness,
Waves of self-loathing,
Waves of pain.

I want to get off this beach 😦

Fighting

There was a small candle.
Not perfect but bravely burning and keeping the dark at bay.
Now it’s been snuffed out, the darkness comes rushing back in.
Billowing clouds of deep inky blackness that make everything grey.

Fighting to stay afloat.
Fighting to see some hope.
Fighting myself.

I have all the platitudes, I know it’s right and we’ll be ok.
I know all that and yet I’m bleeding, all the life draining out of me.
Lying on the ground broken and alone.
Everything is pain and pain is all there is.

Fighting to stay afloat.
Fighting to see some hope.
Fighting myself.

And the sun will still set.
And the sun will still rise.
And life will go on.