I’m gonna build me some walls
I’m gonna make them 10 feet high
I’m gonna put barbed wire on the top and bits of spiky glass
I’m gonna lock the gate and bolt it shut
I’m gonna build a bunker underground
I’m gonna buy the world’s strongest safe
I’m gonna bury it deep beneath the soil in my walled garden
And that’s where my heart is going to stay
A light appears from an unexpected source
Like a beam of sunshine burning through the fog
Warming and brightening the gloom
It shines with an intensity that scares me
Like a searchlight seeing right through my soul
I am all at once exposed yet safe, bewildered yet soothed
The light lifts me and cradles me gently
Leaving me comforted
Again, I am teetering on the edge.
Looking down at the swirling darkness,
Tempted to leap in and let it take me.
It feels like pain is all there is.
Nothing but the tearing loneliness,
When brief connections just make it worse when they’re over.
Questions go unanswered, needs go unmet.
I am lost. Empty and alone.
I want to smother the feelings, blank out the hurt.