Then and now

I held you in my arms
exhausted but triumphant
a tiny baby
grown in me
each feature
perfectly formed
the overwhelming wonder
the rush of protective love
the fearful anticipation
what now?

Now looking up
as you tower over me
how did those years pass so fast?
I can no longer rock you in my arms
I cannot sing you lullabies
(so embarrassing)
but my love is as fierce as ever
and you are just as precious
and my only wish
is for your happiness
for your life to be full and content
as you step out
control your destiny
choose your direction
and I will be there
in the background
cheering you on
and lifting you up
with every breath

Happy 18th Birthday to my son x

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swollen

my heart is swelled
fat full and brimming
a surfeit cornucopia
each beat a pulse of love
for you, for all of you
my family, my people
my precious, precious ones
and to my heart
I hold you tight
and tender

listen

sometimes
when you’re talking
I get distracted
by your eyes
and the infinities
inside them
the wonder
of your existence
made within me
years ago
and I have to
shake myself
and listen
to
your
words

unabridged

within these walls
my heart’s desire
my soul’s requirement
family remade
from ruin
with love and laughter
playfulness
tomfoolery
where parsnips and bacon
are as bouquets
received with joy
affection and silliness
are one
and with my hand in yours
we are living
unabridged

my mum

IMG_9366

I cannot write
the kind of lines
that rhyme in
glossy greeting cards
with cheesy
sentimental fluff
about how much you mean

but you, my mum
deserve some effort here

for all the years
you’ve listened
helped
and worried
when I’m far away

for care you took
when I was small
to let me know
that I was loved
and housework
could be left to wait
’til we had finished
play

for sharing love
of books and nature
accepting my
wildflower bouquets
returning
to the library
time
and time
and time again

for working hard
to scrimp and save
so we could learn
in better ways
away from those
who were not friends

for being loyal
supporter
and cheering me
when I have doubts

for building values
for my life
and yet
accepting choices
I have made
though they’d not
be your own

so I thank you
from my heart
for being there
for being you
for simply
being
my
mum

return

cradled
under softest pastel sky
cleansed
by water-colour landscape
I leave my day behind
return to you

simply be

as time flies by
there is so little
of it left to sit
and think
and ask myself
about myself
and feel the feelings
that I feel

I seem to just
exist

do this and that
without a pause
of quiet thought
to contemplate

each day is filled
with things and stuff
my senses crammed
with sights and sounds

sometime demands
of work and home
keep me doing
doing doing
sometimes I do not stop
myself
from constant doing
doing doing
as if to stop
would be to fail
somehow

yet here
I sit
a moment found
my silence-craving
satisfied

I sit
I stop
I breathe
and rest
drink tea
and simply
be

the first time

the first time
ever I saw your face

the fear and thrill
all mingled in
as dreams came true
our love poetised
into reality
words became touch
and in a rush
of why-wait
we spun our lives
together
a year flew by
to now
high hopes
abound
our days entwined
contently loving
laughing
living
changed beyond belief
and yet quite true
thank you
my love
more than too

tomorrow

a day
of leaving
and of returning

a day
of farewell
and of reunion

a day
with emotions
tangled up

a day
of driving for hours
and hours
in a hot car
with a smile
on my face
because
I’m coming home
to you

Weekly Photo Challenge: Masterpiece

As you may have gathered from yesterday’s post, I am feeling a little nostalgic and remembering when my children were small. When I saw the photo challenge was masterpiece this week, I straight away started thinking that my greatest masterpiece has to be my children! After 9 months growing inside me they both emerged perfect and beautiful – my 2 little masterpieces. Now I don’t particularly want to be putting up to date photos of them on here, but baby photos are no problem … so I made this little image in the style of a painting from a photo of each of them when they were babies. My son on the left from about 14 years ago and my daughter on the right from about 11 years ago.

Here you have it – my masterpiece(s):

baby-masterpiece

Inspired by the Weekly Photo Challenge: Masterpiece

Credit for the original photos goes to my sister and my uncle

husk

and these tired eyes
stare blankly at the screen
willing words of beauty
to emerge
but only tumbling thoughts
and fumbling weary weight
as fingers slip and slide
‘cross keyboard
and I wonder
is anything left
of me
when all are done
and had their part
or just this husk
drawn to dust
and fading
into
silence

true home

home
was a word
that tore
at me
when you
were there
and we
were here

my home with them
incomplete
without you
my heart
stretched
between two homes
my love
my family
an ache
in the gap

since you came
I am whole
my pieces
no longer asunder
my home is one home
a true home
our home
where you are
where they are
where we are
together