these are the doubtful days the self-critical days the days where all is looked at through magnifying lenses and found wanting where every word and action is analysed and over-analysed and I’m so busy analysing that more words and actions slip out of me unbidden snippy, snappy, grumpy-face and the loop repeats and still you…… Continue reading loop
Tag: hormones
clipped
wings clipped by aches and pains weighed down by crazy hormones so tired, so weary I cannot fly I cannot soar I cannot feel the joy of every bit of life so I just sit and lie down and sigh and try not to sink
normal
normal service is resumed it can safely be assumed that I am tired feeling weary chasing words and catching none duvet-dreaming hormone’s screaming and no more birthdays mentioned here
fluck-tuating
I do not want to be this person this drooping moaning, groaning person who stares into space and writes sad poems while waiting e n d l e s s l y for levels of chemical signals to stop fluck-tuating so flucking wildly and let me grow old in peace
slow fade
seconds slip sluggishly dripping treacle from the hands of the clock pooling round me as I fade
husk
and these tired eyes stare blankly at the screen willing words of beauty to emerge but only tumbling thoughts and fumbling weary weight as fingers slip and slide ‘cross keyboard and I wonder is anything left of me when all are done and had their part or just this husk drawn to dust and fading…… Continue reading husk
gloom
the gloom has got me again swallowing my worth sucking out my confidence and I sink down slow berating myself for my weakness as I go
enough
not good enough not fun enough not good enough not brave enough not good enough not sexy enough not good enough too shy too blue too much too many it rants and rants around my brain you ask am I ok and my answer only tears no words illogical irrational and oh so tired so…… Continue reading enough
polite thoughts on being a woman
sometimes it’s hard to be a woman not because of the giving-all-your-love-to-just-one-man thing no, cos that’s easy all my love is yours and yours alone but sometimes being a woman is just a big pile of doo-doo (to put it politely) and without going into detail lest I risk the dreaded TMI it sucks
irritable
grumpy grumpy grumpy cross sweary sweary sweary fuck pointlessly uselessly futilely irritably angry with the world for no good reason if you value your head stay away lest I bite it clean off