Suzy Blue Blog
I have forgotten
how it feels
to be normal
to sleep
and wake
refreshed
to live my days
carefree and well
I live in a limbo
where pain shadows me
and sleep is never enough
and drugs meant to help
become enemies
bringing sickness
when I try to break free
I have forgotten
how it feels
to be normal
consistently weary
persistently dreary
walking in a grey, drab world
muffled and gruffled
I continue snappily
less than happily
if I could clear this sleep-lack
if I could only find the knack
to sleep all night
without a break
without a wake
to shift my aches and pains
perhaps I’d get
my focus back
if I could find
the sleep I lack
sleep soft, love
day is done
sink in to night’s embrace
let go, love
into dreams
as breathing slows it’s pace
and in the morn
I’ll kiss your face
and laugh
with you
my saving grace
fingertips poised
no words
empty
~
sleep
~
try again
tomorrow
in the absence
of bees
there is air in my lungs
and calm in my soul
and the pain of the sting
is fast fading
in the absence
of bees
comes the easing of fear
and my mind can let go
into sleep
today
morning starts softly
a haze on the hills
under cotton-wool clouds
horizon indistinct
mere smudge ‘tween
sea and sky
and my mind is there
on that horizon
wishing
eyes drooping
yet awake
I rest a moment
in the dark
listening
as your breathing
slides slowly
into sleep
your peace
is my peace
and now
I can let go
I barely slept
at all
last night
no thoughts
were buzzing
through my head
just my mind
was strongly set
to sleep no more
refusing to
allow it
as my body
tensed
clenched
fearing
to rest
all scrunched
with pain
as every move
is stabbing
no place of
comfort there
and now my eyes
are scratchy tired
I dare not move
induce the pain
again
so I sit
very still
work hard to distract
from the ache
and the stiffening
and wish for
soothing sleep
through haze
of tired eyes and mind
a glimpse
a word
a phrase
just tipping on my tongue
then lost
to weary sigh
and closing eye
as busy thoughts
and worries seep
and all my words
are filled with sleep
in ink black night
I saw you
bright as neon
shining beacon
of home
I scrambled
over rocks
to reach you
through brambles
chest high
and now we rest
in calmer seas
and the taste
of you lingers
on my lips
in sleep
cocooned in black
limbs twined
heads rest
in partnered pillows
quiet breaths
fall softly
muscles rest
thoughts drift away
peace enfolds
in quiet calm
of nighttimes’s
dark embrace
I am picturing
your face
crinkles, twinkles
in your eyes
I am feeling
for your hand
in the dark
of this bed
I’m imagining
the weight
of your head
on my chest
and I’m holding
you close
in my mind
and my heart
