waiting

I sit
I wait
I fiddle
I fidget
I rearrange my legs
I lean
I slouch
I experiment with sliding
to the edge of the chair
without falling off
I stare at the floor boards
I stare at the ceiling
I jiggle
I tap
I run my fingers through my hair
they get stuck
I spend some moments
detangling
as much as one can
in a waiting room
without a brush
I pay £4 for an hour of wifi
with an air
of quiet desperation
I Facebook
I Twitter
I instagram a photo of a chair
I play pointless games
I get frustrated
I read the news
I get depressed
I scream silently
and write a poem
entitled
“waiting”
and
I’m
still
waiting

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Chained

1-IMG_4952

a heavy chain
made of fear and worry
wraps tight around my chest
making breathing shallow
and turning lips to blue
solid links of cold hard iron
dig into my flesh
stifling
suffocating
holding me down
and all I can do is wait
head bowed
tears welling
hanging on to your hand
until the chain
rusts away
again

time

time warps and bends

   like a runaway train
      it careers down the track
         whipping words from my lips
            and the breath from my lungs

there is no time left
for planning and shopping
and Christmas is piling on top of my head

 and yet

  like
   a sloth
     it is
   pon-der-ous-ly
 i n c h i n g
   along a branch
 slow
   and very
      nonchalant

time acts to spite me
and days seem so endless
waiting and waiting to hold you again

waiting

everything waits
there is no breeze
amber leaves hang
motionless
a still silent sky
painted solid white
nothing breathes
only numbness
cold cold fingers
wide open eyes
staring at treetops
stark silhouettes
everything waits
to be awakened
by your touch

School Gates

Mums
And occasional dads
Talk among themselves
Waiting

I stand alone as usual
On the edges
Still an outsider
After nearly 10 years
Perils of the working mum
Irregular visitor of the school gates
And most likely the only one
Writing poetry as I wait

The lull before the storm
When all the children pour out
All excited chatter and squeals
It’s the weekend!