I’m at work this week after a week off last week, and it’s hard going! So I’m just going to post some lovely soothing wild flowers, and have a nice quiet moment 🙂
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A Quiet Moment
office-enough
we are all
sitting in boxes
bathed in blueish glows
tap tap tap
phones ring
I am so tired
I would lay
on this rough carpet
curl up foetal
eyes closed tight
while meerkats peer
over monitors
and I rest my head
with back support
as a pillow
tired haiku
my tired eyes droop
must work despite pain, I sigh
then I think of you
you brighten my mind
and lightened I press onward
’til I’m home with you
Inspired by
when
long days
threaded
with pain
so
tired
squirming for comfort
a rainbow of pills
need
to
c o n c e n t r a t e
and the pangs come
pangs of
what-is-the-point?
why-me?
working hard
to pay bills
feed
my
family
but when
do I get to
live
after work
after all day
spent in a box
I dip my toes
into the meadow
then dive…
swim through the grass
leap over the bushes
splash back
into ferns and bramble
slow down
drink in the haze
herb robert
evening primrose
alchemilla
willowherb
as insects
buzz their drunken songs
and I am sinking back
sinking
into the wild
cold horror
My nose is full of custard. My head is packed with booze-soaked sponge cake. I am become trifle from this cold. This summer cold that my daughter gave me, after bemoaning her fate repeatedly. Now it’s my turn. My trifle-head may be worse than hers unfortunately, what with the drugs and all. All week my right eye has been inexplicably annoyed with my glasses. My left eye has been twitching (with surpressed rage?). Today the world is slightly slanted. If I take off my glasses the slant increases, so I put them back on in a rush. My face wants to slide down onto the desk and sleep, but I fear the cardigan-sleeve-shaped imprint on my forehead – the badge of sleepy office workers. And who might pass my corner and spot me here snoring gently. So stay open eyes, I plead, as one twitches rebelliously and the other blinks and blinks and blinks as if to flap the glasses right off me. This is the horror of my situation.
time
time is rushing
and I’m straggling behind
running to keep up
dropping trails of post-it notes
behind me
scribbled notes that were important once
before their purpose was forgotten
the hand-writing indecipherable
even to the eye that wrote it
please, time
have a tea-break
and let me catch my breath!
foes
familiar foes
have nibbled
at my seams
’till I am all
frayed edges
fluttering fabric
fading fast
open-plan
exposed
in a crowded room
strip lights glare
row after row
no hiding place
and I can’t
even see
if it’s
raining
the passing storm
the tide is turning
waves are building
higher with each day
a build up of
tension
stress
until all is
drowning
sinking
suffocating
overcome by
obligations
responsibilities
a task list so long
its a novel
so many things
so many pills
so many, many things and pills
all piling up so high
so high
so very, very high
and
crashing
smashing
down
’til I’m left
just afloat
on top of the swell
treading water like hell
to keep up my head
so my face can tell lies
about ‘everything’s fine’
and then later
in your arms
the dam bursts
no lies only truth
and there will be tears
many tears falling fast
’til the beat of your heart
and the warmth of your love
sooth my life-battered soul
into calmness and peace
as sleep forgives all
till the morning
too many things
I’m so tired
I can barely think
let alone write
yet here I am
wanting to put words
together
I’m so tired
I can barely focus
on this screen
I want to rest
but all my tired mind
can do
is flutter
and flap
uselessly
like a trapped bird
too many things
too many thoughts
too many to be held for much longer
they will all fly away
in a murmuration of murmuring thoughts
till I am left
an empty shell
fingers still typing
my emptiness
till the moment
when all
is consumed
by the darkness
my day
rising
into the summer
of your nearness
you are a vision
bearing tea
a balm to my tired eyes
and dry throat
then leaving
for the daily grind
a wrench
of separation
tearing me
from your side
and later
at the edge of the day
you feed me bacon
and know my
heart
